


Dancing Through Heaven

by prettypurpleflower



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettypurpleflower/pseuds/prettypurpleflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave is sure being in love in heaven is the most wonderful thing ever, until his angel Kurt gets sent to earth. He begs to be able to follow him, not expecting it would be so hard to make Kurt fall for him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing Through Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lizhummel](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lizhummel).



> Written for the Kurtofsky Gift Exchange 2014

Dying had been one of the most unfortunate things that had ever happened to Dave. It wasn’t that his life had been perfect. Or even worth living so much. For some reason, it had been impossible for him to find a job. And if he did, he was not once able to keep it for long. Add to that the disaster that called itself his love life… 

Actually, Dave had been happy with Tom for years now. In secret, of course. If anyone asked, they’d say they’re just good friends. Best friends. The people… the people couldn’t know. Dave hadn’t known anyone else who was gay. Rather, he hadn’t known anyone personally who was out. But the people talked and Dave and Tom knew exactly what happened to homosexuals. At least where they lived.

So they had just kept it hidden, meeting only at private places and taking the jokes about being bachelors forever with a nervous laugh. 

Until one day the bubble Dave had created burst.

'I saw Amy the other day.'

'The one who went to high school with your sister? How nice.'

'I asked her to marry me.'                                                                          

'You did what?'

'She said yes. I can't keep living like this with you. And Amy always had a thing for me.'

What had happened afterwards was hazy in Dave’s memory. He had left Tom standing there, packed the most important things into a bag and started his car.

New York. Things were supposed to be better in New York. Dave didn’t know for sure, however. He had never been to the city and neither did he reach it this time. 

Heaven. How had he ended up in heaven, Dave wondered. He hadn’t exactly lived a life free of sin.

‘You gave your life saving someone else. For some reason that means a ton up here,’ someone said behind him. As Dave turned he found a tall woman with blonde hair standing next to him, a grim expression on her face. In reality he was a few inches taller than her, but she seemed so imposing that Dave felt like a little child that had done something wrong.

‘If you ask me, running up to save someone who is being beaten up is extremely stupid. As you can see, it got you killed.’

‘Killed? I wasn’t even hurt that bad! This can’t be happening, I wasn’t finished with my life, yet!’

The woman rolled her eyes, her tone bored. ‘You probably didn’t notice anymore, but the last hit made your head crash into the wall and it cracked. Why am I even dealing with you? New arrivals are always the same. _Why am I here? I can’t be dead. What am I supposed to do now?_ ’

‘Well, what _am_ I supposed to do now?’ Dave almost didn’t ask the question out loud; somehow the woman’s presence just screamed _don’t cross me_. It made Dave wonder how she had ever ended up in heaven, but he was dead certain he wouldn’t ask her that.

‘Do I look like I care? This is heaven. Do whatever you want. Meet some old friends. Logically I’m speaking about dead friends here. Try something you never had the chance to try.’ Slowly Dave nodded, not daring to speak.

‘If you have a problem, think about seeing Sue Sylvester. That’s me. But I’d recommend you don’t.’ She vanished into thin air. Surprised, Dave spun around.

‘What do you mean, think about seeing you?’ he called out, but there was no answer.

—-

  
It took a while for Dave to get used to heaven. Thinking about appearing somewhere and then actually appearing there? The weirdest and at the same time most brilliant thing that Dave had ever experienced.

He took up singing and for the first time he felt like he was any good at it.

The most magnificent about heaven, however, was Kurt.

Dave kept wandering around aimlessly. Heaven was beautiful and no matter what door he opened, Dave always ended up seeing a place he had never been to before.

And that’s right how he met Kurt. In search of his grandma, who he had missed dearly while alive and was therefore more than overjoyed to have the opportunity to see her again, Dave opened a door and landed in a wheat field. He closed his eyes and tried concentrating on his grandma, imagined her name, but nothing happened. He felt panic rising in him. What if he was stuck, doomed to spend all his afterlife in a wheat field?

When he opened his eyes again, there was someone standing in front of him. Dave blinked. This was… Who was this? This man had… the brightest blue eyes Dave had ever seen. Shining like the sky on a clear spring day. Dave felt stupid, but the only word able to describe this man that came to his mind was… _ethereal_.

'You're… the prettiest person I've ever seen.' The words tumbled out of Dave’s mouth and he immediately blushed. Where did that come from? That wasn’t exactly how you greeted people you met for the first time. However, the man only smiled softly, not the least bit perturbed.

'Thank you. I’m not sure I’m what you define as a person, though. Usually the term used for someone like me is angel.’

‘What does that mean? You don’t have… wings or something.’ The angel swayed his head slowly, considering how to explain himself.

‘I was born here and have never been to earth.’

‘Really? Isn’t that… boring?’  
‘Boring? Not at all. It’s my responsibility to guide the people who are lost. Like you. It keeps me busy.’

‘You mean I’m stuck.’ Dave’s shoulders slumped.   
‘You aren’t stuck, David. The person you are searching for is not here anymore. She has been sent back down to earth. You may say she has been reborn.’

For a second Dave felt sadness soaring up inside. He had missed his grandma, maybe by mere days and probably wouldn’t see her again, now. The feeling subsided as fast as it had come. He had already grieved once for her and the angel’s presence made it almost impossible for him to feel any negative emotion. Was that an angel thing?

‘Sent back? Is that… normal?’  
‘Oh, yes. Everyone gets send down to earth sooner or later.’ The angel nodded shortly, emphasizing his words.

‘I believe you’ll be able to find your way again now. It was a pleasure to meet you.’ He closed his eyes, ready to disappear, but Dave interrupted him.

‘Wait! I don’t even know your name.’   
‘It’s Kurt.’

'Then, Kurt… Would you want to go out with me sometimes?' Kurt looked at Dave surprised, then smiled warmly.

'I'd like that very much.'

—-

‘Explain more about heaven to me.’ Kurt nodded eagerly. They had been meeting daily for a while now, talking about everything from their favorite color to their least liked childhood memory. Being with Kurt was so easy, Dave couldn’t get enough.

Somehow the topic of how things worked up there hadn’t come up again, however.   
‘I’ll try. What do you want to know?’

‘What about… Sue? She gave me the most terrifying welcome possible.’  
A laugh as melodically as a piece of music met Dave’s ears. He looked at Kurt in wonder.

‘Yes, she can be quite difficult. But her heart is in the right place. She just has been here for a very, very long time. I guess it’s all the same to her by now.’

‘Is she… she isn’t God, is she?’ Dave whispered, afraid Sue might be able to overhear them from wherever she was right now. Kurt laughed again and Dave’s knees began to feel weak.

‘No, she isn’t. She just runs this place here.’

‘But there is a God?’

‘Of course there is,’ Kurt said with such conviction that Dave couldn’t help but believe him.  
‘You said… you said everyone is send to earth? Does that… include you?’  
‘Yes. One day I’ll get send down the first time and live a human life.’ Dave swallowed hard. Already that was a day he dreaded. Kurt squeezed his hand.

‘Hey, don’t be sad. It’s not bad.’ With a bounce in his step, Kurt grinned happily. ‘I’m going to be someone’s baby.’ Dave smiled ruefully. Enthusiasm and optimism were a few of the things he loved most about Kurt. That didn’t mean this was easy to take for him.

‘How does going back work? Will you even remember your life here?’

‘Very few souls take whole ideas down with them. Most just take bits and pieces. The soul, and with it the person, stays the same, though.’

—-

Lying in bed together with Kurt was one of Dave’s favorite pastimes. It meant he could look at his angel as long as he wanted, touch his hair, feel his skin. Every day – as far as it could be called that in a place where time didn’t matter – from the moment Dave opened his eyes to the moment he fell asleep he felt ready to burst with happiness. Heaven was only heaven for Dave because it was time spent with Kurt. He had literally never felt so in love.

Kurt smiled at him. ‘You know what we haven’t done, yet? What I really want us to do?’  
‘What? Whatever it is, we’ll do it tomorrow.’

‘Dance, Davey. I want us to dance.’ Excitement sparkled in Kurt’s eyes.

‘That’s a great idea. The music here is just made for dancing.’ He leaned forward and kissed Kurt’s forehead.

‘Sleep tight, love,’ Kurt whispered and it was the last thing Dave heard before he fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes the next day, however, Kurt had disappeared.

—-

He wasn’t sure how long he had searched for Sue. It felt like hours that he spent running around, appearing at random places, and calling out her name. Deep down Dave knew she was hiding from him because she knew what he wanted. And how desperate he was to get it. Eventually he found her in an odd looking office, filled to the brim with trophies that don’t mean anything to Dave.  
‘Sue, please. Please send me back to earth,’ Dave begged, the tears he tried to hold back beginning to choke him. Still, Sue’s face was as stony as always.

'You're not supposed to go.'

'I don't care. I don't… I can't live here without him.'

Sue considered him for a while. It was the first time she didn’t seem disinterested. She even appeared almost… conflicted.

'I can't promise you that you'll be able to come back here once you leave.' Dave shook his head vehemently.

'I don't care. What's heaven if it's turned into a cage?' Sue sighed.

‘You have to understand that I can’t just let you go like that. There are conditions. Limits.’

‘I. Don’t. Care. I’ll do anything.’

‘If you don’t manage to make him fall in love with you again by the time you turn 30, you never will. And both of you will live the rest of your lives feeling miserable and incomplete.’

Dave nodded impatiently. Everything started fading into black as he disappeared.

—-

Kurt is shouting in his face. It’s hard to concentrate on his words, when Dave is already so distracted by his appearance. There’s a fire burning in Kurt’s eyes, his cheeks a dark angry red and his fists balled at his sides as if he was ready to strike. As if sweet, innocent Kurt Hummel would ever hurt a fly. Dave doesn’t know what disgusts him more, the fact that he’s clearly attracted to a boy or that the arousal gnawing at him is only getting worse at sight of the boy’s anger.

‘What is your problem?’

‘Excuse me?’ He is trying to remain calm, at the same time he’s sure it isn’t working.   
‘What are you so scared of?’  
‘Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk?’  
‘Oh, yeah, every straight guy’s nightmare that all the gays are secretly out to molest or convert you. Well, guess what, ham hock, you’re _not_ my type.’ Kurt is loud, making Dave wish he’d just shut up. What if somebody hears them? What if somebody comes in? The fear choking him, preventing him from thinking a single straight thought.  
‘That right?’

‘Yeah. I don’t dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are gonna be bald by the time they’re thirty.’ The words rush out of Kurt without even one breath in between.

‘Do not push me, Hummel.’

‘You’re gonna hit me? Do it.’   
Dave bangs a random locker door next to him closed. This feels wrong, so wrong. How did it come to this? The adrenaline and fear turning into energy. Energy that needs an outlet.

‘Do not push me.’ There’s so much anger. So much hurt at Kurt’s words. So much fear that all of Dave’s nightmares are coming true.

‘Hit me. Cause this is not gonna change who I am. You can’t punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you.’  
‘Get out of my face!’ Dave screams, wants to keep screaming. Wants to beg Kurt to leave before he does something he’ll regret. Because he knows he’s losing control.

‘You are nothing but a scared little boy who can’t handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are.’ Dave surges forward, pressing his lips onto Kurt’s. Shocked at what he has done he draws back and sees the same shock he’s feeling inside mirrored on Kurt’s face. He can’t help it, doesn’t know how to handle anything anymore and leans back in, trying to kiss Kurt again. Trying to forget for a second. Unlike the first kiss, this time Kurt is prepared and pushes him back. Finally he recognizes Kurt’s expression. It’s not shock, it’s terror. Everything comes crashing down on Dave. He smashes his fists one last time into the lockers, then he runs out of the room.

—-

  
Usually Dave avoids Coach Sylvester and her office. Sitting in there just gives him the creeps and no matter how long he thinks about it, he can’t put his finger on it. He’d almost call it a freaky sense of déjà-vu, except that of course he feels like he has been there before _because_ he actually has been to this office to see Coach Sylvester already.

It can’t be avoided this time, however.

‘Really, Karofsky, what are you doing?’ Dave looks to the ground, shuffling his feet.   
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Coach.’ She rolls her eyes.

‘Don’t give me that crap. I may not be able to do anything about it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know exactly what you’re doing to sweet Porcelain.’ She stares at him and it might as well be daggers piercing him.

‘Can I go now?’ He tries to sound apathetic, but his shaking voice betrays his true emotions.

‘Leave. Before I literally kick you out of here. But you should be aware of one thing, Karofsky. Treating Porcelain like you are right now is the biggest mistake you could possibly make in your whole damn miserable life and if you don’t stop, it will become your biggest regret.’

—-

The Bullywhips uniform itched. Maybe Dave was only imagining it because somewhere deep inside he felt like he had no right to wear it. Maybe it did actually itch because Santana had tried to use the least amount of money possible when she ordered them.

‘Wait inside the classroom until I get back to walk you to lunch.’ Instead of agreeing and entering the classroom, Kurt comes to a halt and focuses his gaze on Dave.   
‘Have you noticed that no one has said _boo_ to me this week?’

‘Because the Bullywhips are protecting you.’ Dave laughs as if the answer is obvious, but he just feels awkward inside. Santana and her stupid plan to get crowned prom queen.

‘Maybe. But maybe no one has been harassing me this week because nobody cares.’

Fuck this, Dave knows exactly what Kurt is trying to point out and it is not happening. He shakes his head.

‘You’re dreaming.’ Since the bell already rang the halls are almost empty. In an almost paranoid way Dave looks around to make sure no one is listening. At least Kurt’s voice isn’t above a whisper, Dave thinks.   
‘Look, I’m not saying that everyone in this school is ready to ‘embrace the gay’, but… maybe they’ve evolved enough to be indifferent.’ Kurt pauses and Dave only hopes he stops altogether. This is too much. He can feel his walls crumbling in the middle of a school corridor and there is nothing he can do to stop it if Kurt doesn’t stop talking.

‘I see how miserable you are, Dave. I could just hate you when you were bullying me, but…’ Kurt’s voice breaks, he swallows heavily. ‘Now all I see is your pain. And you don’t need to torture yourself over this.’

Dave starts sniffling. Could a person have a worse timing than Kurt Hummel?

‘I’m not saying you should come out tomorrow, but maybe soon the moment will arise when you can.’ The bell rings a second time. He’s too late for calculus and can’t even bring himself to care one bit. It’s as if a dam breaks. Dave slumps against the locker next to him, tugging the ugly red beret from his head and gripping it tightly. His breathing is heavy. A few times he tries to get the words he’s been thinking for long out of his mouth, but nothing leaves his lips. Holding his breath for a second, he tries again.

‘I’m so… I’m so freaking sorry, Kurt. I’m just… so sorry for what I did to you.’

Nodding understandingly, Kurt hurries to answer. ‘I know, I know.’ Kurt leans forward. The tears in his eyes clearer to Dave than ever before. He almost holds his breath again, waiting for Kurt to speak. Suddenly there are footsteps. A girl passes them running. Somehow this breaks the spell between them. Dave straightens his back and schools his face.

‘Cool. Thanks. Remember, wait for me here, right?’

—-

The crown on his head feels heavy and the tension doesn’t leave Dave. He can see Santana smirking triumphantly, already so certain of her victory. But Dave isn’t sure. This isn’t over, he could sense it. And the narrow-minded student body of McKinley High doesn’t disappoint him. Principal Figgins clears his throat.

‘And your 2011 McKinley High prom queen… with an overwhelming number of votes is…’ He hesitates. ‘Kurt Hummel.’

Dave forgets how to breathe. This is not happening. He looks up and, as if he suffers from tunnel vision, all he can focus on is Kurt running out of the room. What is he supposed to do now? The students are getting louder, the need to discuss the disaster they brought on themselves evident. All Dave can hear is a ringing in his ears. Why isn’t anybody doing anything? Did someone follow Kurt? Surely Blaine did. Isn’t that what the pretty boyfriend is there for?

And suddenly Kurt is there again, standing next to him on the stage like he owns it. It makes Dave want to cry worse than ever because once again he is confronted with Kurt’s bravery. He knows he was supposed to do something, to react. They had crowned him their king and he had reacted like a coward. Maybe Figgins got it wrong and he’s supposed to be the queen and Kurt the king. _It would make so much more sense_. The thought is running on repeat in Dave’s mind.

Then Kurt is looking at him expectantly and he remembers. They’re supposed to dance. Dave’s eyes widen in shock. He can’t do this. Not in front of all those people.

‘Now’s your moment, Dave,’ Kurt whispers.

‘What?’ The music sounds unnaturally to his ears. Is he expected to get what Kurt is saying?

‘Come out, make a difference.’

Something is telling him that it’s important to dance with Kurt. As a matter of fact, everything inside of him urges him to throw all his doubts and fears over board and just do this for Kurt. A dance is the very least of what Kurt deserves after all that Dave did to him, after all. He can’t bring himself to do it, however.

‘I can’t.’ Dave turns around and leaves. Nothing could make him hate himself more than the sadness on Kurt’s face.

—-

  
Dave doesn’t know how to feel. Why is he feeling anything at all? If his plan had worked, he wouldn’t have to deal with this now. Wouldn’t have to deal with Kurt crying because he blames himself. Ha, ridiculous. As if his life or death makes any difference to Kurt. He shakes his head slightly. Of course it matters to Kurt. To his dad. There are things that make him doubt himself and doubt what everyone else keeps telling him. Like his mom thinking his sexuality is a disease. Still, he’s so, so glad that he’s alive. Nevertheless it’s hard to see Kurt like this. But he’s done being a coward. Wishing his attempt had worked just so he wouldn’t have to _see_ Kurt’s sadness was the sort of cowardice Dave promised himself he wouldn’t act on anymore shortly after he woke up. When he woke up and saw his dad.

‘I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back to that school.’ Kurt wipes away a new tear as discreetly as possible.

‘Then go to another school. I’m not gonna lie to you, it isn’t going to be easy. And there’ll be some days when… life just sucks.’ Kurt can’t help but smile at his own words. ‘But you’re going to get through this. Cause I’m going to help you. And so is everyone else who loves you and accepts you for who you are. And if they can’t accept that, then… then… screw them.’ Dave starts laughing silently through his tears.

Changing schools after the prom fiasco, being forced out of the closet at his new school… It seems so easy for Kurt to make Dave feel like it’s okay to be sad and mad at the world. To feel the things he has been feeling for so long now. It’s confusing and entirely too much and sometimes it hurts. But it’s okay. Because there are people who care about him. Because Kurt cares about him. Dave can’t grasp it, yet. He only knows how deeply grateful he is that Kurt is giving him a second chance.

—-

  
‘Come on, Kurt! You skyped with Blaine four hours now, it’s time to eat lunch now with me. You can’t dawdle away your whole Sunday in front of a computer screen.’

‘Hey! Speaking with me is not dawdling away his time,’ comes out of the speakers in an amused tone. Dave moves between Kurt and the camera and waves, then he pokes Kurt’s shoulder impatiently.

‘I know you, Kurt Hummel. If Rachel and Santana aren’t here to use up your time or you’re not busy with work, you try to make up all the missed Skype sessions to your little boyfriend by not moving from this thing, even if it makes you starve to death. I’m here and I say no more.’

Kurt holds his hands up in surrender, his expression slightly indignant anyway. ‘I don’t need a keeper. I’m an adult, thank you very much.’ Dave raises an eyebrow at him.

Blaine coughs and they both turn their attention back to him.

‘Dave, take him to lunch. I hope you know how much I appreciate it that you look after him while I can’t.’ The words and the look in Blaine’s eyes seem nothing but honest to Dave. Nonetheless a shiver runs down his spine, a sense of things being plain _wrong_ sparking through him. ‘No problem.’

—-

  
Dave remembers the excitement in Kurt’s eyes well when he announced to him that Blaine had proposed. He didn’t mention that he knew already because Blaine had asked him to be there. Like he had invited everyone else they knew. Unfortunately Dave couldn’t get out of work, try as he might. He shudders. Public proposals were high up on Dave’s ‘most horrible things to happen’ list. Shaking his head, he tries to focus on the real world again.

Kurt and Blaine are dancing slowly, tightly entwined. Some of the guests have all but hearts in their eyes, they are so joyful for the happy couple.

Dave sighs. He’s not sure what it is. It’s not like he isn’t happy for them. How could he not be happy when Kurt has been buzzing for weeks, burying himself in wedding preparations without hesitation.

Maybe what’s so weird to him is that it was all about _I’m getting married_ , instead of even one word of ecstasy about _I’m getting married to Blaine_.

In the end, Dave decides it’s none of his business and tries to act like this is the happiest day in his life as well.  

—-

‘Kurt, you have to do something. I hate seeing you so unhappy.’

‘What am I supposed to do? I promised to stay with him, for better or for worse.’ Reluctantly Dave lays his hand on Kurt’s. He’s never been good at giving advice about life. Heck, most of the time he doesn’t even know what he’s doing himself. But he knows that Kurt is suffering in his marriage with Blaine. Even if it took a long time, Dave is proud to call both Kurt and Blaine his friends now and it couldn’t be more obvious to him that, for all their efforts to live a happily joined life, they more and more started to lead separate lives years ago.

‘I know what this means to you, what marriage means to you. But you have to consider your wellbeing, Kurt. Just like you have to consider Blaine’s wellbeing. Do you really think forcing yourself to stay in a marriage when you’re 26 will make you happy in the long run? When you’re 60, will you look back and think _God, I’m so glad I did this_?’

Kurt turns his hand. For a moment he squeezes Dave’s before he draws back entirely.

‘Thank you for being there for me. You don’t know how much this means. But I’m not ready to give this up, yet.’

—-

A knock on his door. Who’d knock in the middle of the night? When he opens the door, he’s only half surprised to see Kurt standing there. What surprises him, though, are the big traveling bag in his hand and the tear streaks on his face.

'Can I sleep on your couch? It's over for good.'

‘Of course! As long as you want to.’

It doesn’t take long to get Kurt settled in. Dave’s guestroom might as well be called Kurt’s room anyway. How many movie marathons did they start, just to fall asleep right in the middle and then decide some time during the night to just have Kurt spend the night in the guestroom?

This time neither of them falls asleep immediately, however. After turning what felt like hundreds of times, Dave settles on getting a glass of water. The first second of seeing someone sitting in his kitchen is still an unexpected shock for Dave.

‘I know it’s a stupid question, but… are you okay? You know, considering the circumstances?’ he asks quietly, trying not to scare Kurt in case he hasn’t noticed him, yet. Not likely, Dave thinks. His footsteps are pretty telling.

‘I guess so. I’ll miss the apartment. It took a damn long time to get it to look that perfect.’ He sounds nothing except for wistful.

‘Why did you let him have it, then?’

Kurt smiles, not looking at Dave. ‘I may not love him romantically anymore, but I’m not cruel. He has his whole life in there, his work. I could just pack a bag and leave and still go to work tomorrow. What should I have expected of him? To wrap the piano up and carry it out?’

‘Is that all you’re going to miss?’

‘Who knows. I feel like this ended months ago already and this talk we had today was just… closure. Mostly I’m just glad that we’ll both be able to move on now.’

‘If you’re glad, why the tears?’ Kurt looks up at Dave’s words, wiping away the last tears. He seems almost surprised that they’re on his face. His expression turns sorrowful again.  
‘I’m crying… for myself. I’ll be a divorcé at 27, David. Divorced. You know what I dreamed of in high school?’ It’s a rhetorical question, but still tears start sliding down Kurt’s cheeks again. Wordlessly Dave hands him a handkerchief.

‘I dreamed of being married by the time I turn 30. And now… I’ll be divorced.’ He laughs humorlessly.

‘You could try to see it optimistically. You already achieved your dream, technically. And now you’ll may be able to achieve it a second time.’

As Kurt shook his head, Dave was able to see a small smile appearing on Kurt’s face.

‘When did you turn into such a positive and wise young man, David Karofsky?’

—-

  
When they meet again at Dave’s apartment for their third movie marathon since Kurt moved out, something about his behavior feels off to Dave. It’s been a while since the last movie night since they have both been busy with work, but if he had to take a guess, Dave wouldn’t say that’s the reason for the awkwardness. He shrugs it off, though, not knowing what else to do.

As they settle on the couch, Kurt seems to calm down somewhat. Throughout their whole first movie, though, he is constantly shooting Dave nervous looks and the second the credits are rolling, he fumbles with the remote to stop the movie. Hesitatingly he looks at Dave and takes a deep breath.

'Would you want to go out with me sometimes, maybe?'

It would be a downright lie to say it hasn’t ever crossed Dave’s mind. But pretty much having a crush on Kurt in high school that still resurfaces from time to time convinced Dave ages ago that there was no possibility there’d ever come something out of it. The bullying alone made sure that this ship sailed long before anyone could go on board, as far as Dave is concerned. Obviously he has been wrong. A second he can only look at Kurt dumbstruck, but he snaps out of it, praying he isn’t ruining this already.

'Yeah, very much.' Kurt shakes his head, his cheeks already a rosy red.

'Gosh, this is so awkward! I'm so sorry, Dave. I just… I haven't done this in such a long time.'

‘What, dated?’ Dave frowns. Is Kurt actually lying into his face? He knows exactly that Kurt went on several dates since the divorce was finalized. They are friends, after all. At times he’d even go so far to say they’re best friends.   
‘No, I meant going on a date with someone who already mattered to me.’

—-

Dating Kurt isn’t easy. They’re tentative at first. The first time they go on a date, there’s a shyness between them neither of them can explain. Right before they say goodnight, they both laugh about how stupid they behaved the whole evening. After all, they’ve been friends for years, almost a decade to be precise, why would they be shy in front of each other?

For Kurt, everything has to always feel right. So the second date doesn’t get his approval because it’s too much like what they usually do together.

‘We’re starting something new. At least in the beginning, I need to _feel_ the difference.’ After a completely disastrous date at a high rope course they agree that finding the exactly right activity that balances romance and friendship is a useless waste of time.

At first Kurt is adamant, but when Dave looks at him like he’s the most precious person he has ever seen and tells him, ‘It’s dating, Kurt. It only needs you and me, nothing else.’ Kurt can’t help but agree.

After that it gets easier. They both have to admit, however, that the most perfect series of dates is the dancing course they take together. Obviously Kurt already knows the steps to the standard dances of their beginner course, although they were entirely self-taught. Dave keeps stumbling, even stepping on Kurt’s feet several times. To his full surprise Kurt doesn’t lose his patience even once. And at the end of every lesson, he kisses Dave happily and says, ‘This was so much fun, I can’t wait for next week.’

—-

Their relationship isn’t perfect, even if most people would disagree. They only fight rarely, always making up passionately. They’re more than happy with each other.

There’s a single thing that bothers Dave and that is the fact that, while he admitted his love to Kurt seven months after they became official, Kurt hasn’t said it back, yet.

It doesn’t even bother him so much as it… nags him sometimes, at the far back of his mind. The reasonable side of him helps him stay calm. Kurt has been through a lot. Kurt surely has his reasons. Kurt doesn’t need to say it, he’s showing it through his actions. And Kurt _is_ showing it. He is considerate, affectionate and observant. Sometimes he brings Dave chocolate or coffee, other times he just rambles on about unimportant things when he realizes Dave isn’t in the mood to talk much himself. Somehow Kurt has managed to figure Dave out, to figure out how to read him. Dave desperately hopes he can give back as much as he’s getting from Kurt, but from time to time he wonders if that is even possible. So… Kurt has to love him, right? A relationship so full of trust and comfort couldn’t be built without as much as hint of love, Dave is sure.

A less rational side of him, however, gives him a completely different impression. It’s a need to look at the calendar at least twice a day or watch the clock almost obsessively. It’s a sense of… _running out of time_. But that is ridiculous, isn’t it?

—-

  
The hand in his is warm. Sometimes Dave still can’t believe he got to where he is now. A happy life with Kurt at his side. That he gets to stroll through Central Park, holding his boyfriend’s hand without any fear whatsoever. What might seem trivial to someone else means the world to Dave. It gives him a sense of freedom and peace and not even the rain bothers him today.

‘Tomorrow is your birthday.’ Kurt smiles softly at him, but Dave only groans.

‘Don’t remind me. I’m so old.’ Kurt laughs, which makes a pleasant shiver run down Dave’s spine. As long as he can remember it has always been one of his favorite sounds.

‘Thirty’s not old!’

‘Let’s agree to disagree here.’

‘Anyway, that wasn’t my point. Can you believe that we started dating almost two years ago? And it’s been a year and a half since it got serious.’ Dave nodded at the fond memories.  
‘Yeah, I know. And it’s been a great time, Kurt.’ For a moment Kurt seemed small and sad.

‘No, don’t say that. I’ve been a coward. You deserve so much more. And that’s what I’m giving you now, take it as an early birthday present. It’s a bit late, but I hope you know that I thought it a lot, even if I always chickened out of saying it.’  
‘Saying what?’

‘I love you, Dave.’

As they kiss, the sky starts clearing up. The rain turns into a drizzle until it stops altogether. Dave laughs, barely parting from Kurt’s lips.

'Seems like heaven is happy for us.'

'You know I don't believe in that.' Kurt looks up, the sun warming his wet face. Birds are coming out of their hiding places, chirping happily as the last clouds disappear.

'But sometimes I do wonder.'


End file.
